The Problem with Being Too Positive

Is being too positive really a problem? More and more coaches and spiritual folk seem to be telling their followers that the only way to achieve higher vibrations is to remain positive all the time, no matter what. And if you’re not, you’re the problem, the block, the thing keeping you from abundance. This is artificial positivity.

Death - but not the physical kind.Aside:

I do a daily card pull, sometimes oracle cards, sometimes tarot cards. Today’s card was Death. It’s scary for a lot of people, but it’s not referring to actual, physical death. This card most often references transformation, rebirth, and moving on. It can be representative of embracing all of the aspects of yourself and your psyche, the good and the bad, which allows you to have the room for spiritual growth. I drew the card after writing this post, and it was too synchronous not to include it within the post.

Back to the topic at hand.

“But, wait, too positive?” you might be asking.

If you’re following a lot of different FLEB folks, it might just be considered the height of ascension, honestly. Kelly is far more eloquent than I on the subject of the Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand, so I encourage you to check out that post and many others throughout her site.

In a nutshell, many of the people espousing this belief system might shame you or tsk at you if you express even the slightest bit of negativity at any point. Because positivity will lead you to the promised land of abundance and your true, full life here in this reality.

The problem that I (and many others) see with this way of thinking is that it doesn’t leave much room for realism and pragmatic thinking. If you focus solely on the positive and never venture into some of the negatives, how will you ever understand all of the lessons this life is here to teach you?

As Gwynne points out:

What you ignore festers. What you refuse to confront because it’s in the dark scary places of your soul rots and mutates until you no longer recognize it as part of yourself, even though it is, always was, and always will be.”

You can read the full post on Gwynne’s profile – it’s definitely worth the visit for the truth bombs that she drops throughout.

Call it shadow work, call it mirror work, call it whatever you like. This type of deep delving is essential if you’re ever going to get whatever it is that you’re striving for.

We all want to get to that Nirvana of receiving all that the Universe has to shower down upon us, but it’s not all glitter and girlboss. There’s a lot of shit you’ll have to slog through, too, if you’re being true to yourself and to your soul work.

When you ignore the other side of the coin, does it matter what you’re really being so positive about?

That positive energy is never going to live up to its full potential if you can’t deal with any of the negative flip sides that are following you around.

Reality doesn’t go away because you only want to see the butterflies and unicorns. The butterflies and unicorns are fantastic, but they don’t exist in a vacuum.

Reality doesn't go away because you only want to see the butterflies and unicorns. The butterflies and unicorns are fantastic, but they don't exist in a vacuum. Click To Tweet

Don’t ignore your full reality because some “guru” or coach is telling you that you have to only be positive. If someone is shaming you for facing your reality head on, that person is not looking out for your best interests, no matter how much you’ve paid that person. There’s more work to do than simply reframing your thinking to keep it positive.

Positivity and encouraging positive thoughts completely has its place, but it isn’t everything.

What My Coffee Pot Taught Me about Aligning My Life

A few months ago I started getting a specific message during meditation and at other times. I kept hearing that I needed to work on aligning my life. What the what? How the hell was I gonna do that? I didn’t even understand what the phrase meant. My coffee pot helped me to figure out what aligning could mean and what it had to do with improving my flow.

So, when you see the phrase “align yourself,” what do you think? Like I said, I didn’t know what to think at all. And the message kept popping up. Every time I turned around, it seemed that’s what I would hear. At the time, I was trying to shove a square peg into a round hole in my professional life. I wanted to launch a very specific business and it wasn’t working. I couldn’t figure out why and I was frustrated.

So Frustrated

I was also frustrated with a lot of other things. My time management. My energy levels. My failed idea for a side business. My freaking coffee pot.What My Coffee Pot Taught Me about Aligning My Life

Wait, what?

Yeah, my coffee pot. We have one of those Mr. Coffee 4-cup coffee makers. It’s about a million years old, but I do love it. It makes just enough coffee to fill up my husband’s travel mug for the trip to work and still leaves me with a full cup of coffee. Well, let’s be honest, my mug holds more like two cups of coffee, but still. We both get coffee and I only have to wait for the one pot to brew.

But here’s the thing. I was starting to have trouble pouring coffee out of the pot. It was constantly dribbling over the side, no matter how I tried pouring the coffee. And I started noticing that even though I was holding the handle, the spout seemed to be all askew. I didn’t think it had ever done that before, but nothing had changed, right?

So I grumbled. For MONTHS. And wiped up coffee spills and dribbles. For MONTHS. Sometimes I can be kind of clueless, as we all can be, really, especially at 6am before a cup of coffee. I was so frustrated that I was determined to get a new coffee maker. I mean, this one was beyond ancient, after all, right?

Meanwhile, midway through the coffee pot drama, I’m getting the message about aligning my life.


One day, I look at the coffee pot and I realize that it’s not bolted or riveted or even attached to the glass carafe at all. There’s a stainless steel band around the bottom of the carafe that holds the bottom of the handle and the top of the handle has a lip that pops over the top edge of the glass carafe.

Over time, what has happened is the band and the lip have gradually worked their way around the carafe, putting the handle out of alignment with the spout of the carafe.

Once I realized the problem, I gently slid the carafe around until the spout and the handle were opposite each other again. They aligned. And the next time I poured coffee? It was perfect, wonderful, amazing. The coffee flowed just the way it was supposed to.

Aligning My Life

So what the hell does my coffee pot problem have to do with the message I kept getting?

A lot, it turns out.

The next time I meditated and heard that I needed to align myself and my life, I stopped and changed the question. Instead of asking what that meant, I asked how to do it. I got some answers, which surprised me at first, but I started following those answers and realized that they really did help. {NB: I’ll talk about all of these in more depth in individual posts because I think that they’re worth going into much more detail.}

My Methods

One answer that I received was that I needed to meditate by myself. That was interesting, because I’d been meditating quite a bit, but I was using guided meditations. See, I’ve never been able to meditate on my own. It always felt awkward and weird and I just couldn’t seem to do it. But now, I gave it a try.

I started using my pendulum more. That’s helped me to build some self-trust and it’s also helped me with sorting through some issues. If you’re new to pendulums or dowsing, I highly recommend Pendulum Mojo by Amy Scott Grant {affiliate link}. I’ve read other stuff about pendulums and dowsing before and, honestly, they didn’t resonate with me at all. I get Amy and her advice works for me.

I started paying more attention to my crystals and carrying them with me. I’ve always collected crystals, but I usually didn’t have them on me. I’ve also found that although I had plenty of gemstone jewelry, I didn’t get the same feeling that I did from having a crystal on its own next to my skin.

I got much more serious about using Reiki regularly. I’m finishing up the course now for my Reiki Master certification and I honestly think this is one of the best things I’ve ever done. Reiki is transformative and I want to share it as much as I can.

I started using oracle cards, journaling, and venturing into Akashic record study. These are all still works in progress, but I’ll be sharing as I learn more.

The Results?

Right away the flow of my life changed. I didn’t feel like I was constantly fighting my way up stream. Are there days that I still have a rough go of it? Of course. But I take a deep breath and I focus back on what helps me with aligning my life. That’s part of why I started One Cricket Chirping, in fact. I wanted to share what I was experiencing and what helped me.

So tell me, when you hear the phrase “aligning my life,” what does it mean for you?